


The Mark of a Soul

by SheWroteTheWorld



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Georgie Denbrough Lives, I Love Stanley Uris, M/M, Soulmates, because i cant keep him dead no way, he is an angel that deserves the world, literally my first fic, this is terrifying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:08:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24001861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SheWroteTheWorld/pseuds/SheWroteTheWorld
Summary: Stanley knew what came as you turned 17. He knew about all the parties, the schoolwork, and what worried him the most, the Mark. The Mark was what everyone waited for, the most important moment of their lives, but Stan was different. He wasn’t excited, he was scared. He didn’t want to get his first mark, the mark of his soulmate.Basically, once each partner is 17 they can communicate to their soulmate by writing on their skin.Stan is a bit of a mess, Bill is a romantic and thinks almost anyone he comes into contact with is his soulmate, and the others are just trying to see how long it takes them to figure it out.
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough & Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough & Eddie Kaspbrak, Bill Denbrough/Stanley Uris, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Richie Tozier & Stanley Uris
Comments: 3
Kudos: 17





	1. Intro/Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> hi, this is literally my first fic and i am terrified so please dont attack me if you hate it, also im shit at punctuation and grammar so this is terrifying haha  
> anyways i really hope you like it, i literally decided to write like an hour and a half ago and im either wayy too impulsive or wayy too reserved so if i dont start posting this now i never will aghh  
> also please let me know if this sucks but be nice about it pleaselmfao i may cry hahaaa

Stanley knew what came as you turned 17. He knew about all the parties, the schoolwork, and what worried him the most, the Mark. The Mark was what everyone waited for, the most important moment of their lives, but Stan was different. He wasn’t excited, he was scared. He didn’t want to get his first mark, the mark of his soulmate.  
Everyone year in school they learnt more and more what it would be like to:  
1) have their first mark, indicating that both soulmates were of ages 17  
2) communication to their soulmate and the autoimmune systems natural form of censorship of certain information such as names and places, and  
3) meet your soulmate.  
Stan was well versed in what should happen, however all of this felt like theory to him, he would never know how it felt until it was actually happening, until it was out of his control. And that thought terrified him. He hated not being able to control the variables in his life, he needed things in a certain way, needed things to pan out how he expected them to in his mind, to follow the meticulous script already written in his head since birth. The only problem was sometimes he wouldn’t know the script himself until it was too late to change, until it was too late to gain control again.  
Stanley, however, was smart. Really smart, although sometimes completely clueless. He noticed his behaviour when he was around 15 and found new ways to cope with things he couldn’t control, like when Richie would step on the paving stones incorrectly, or when his parents would put things in the wrong place when tidying the house. He knew it wasn’t that healthy, but it didn’t feel dangerous either, he’d simply push his nails into the palms of his hands or the edges of his wrist until he felt in control again, usually through clenching his fists or scratching the skin. He was so used to it as after almost two years, it became a habit. But they worked, and they helped. Because no one else ever did, or at least Stanley never wanted to ask for their help, he felt unworthy. After all he always thought himself lucky, he had his parents, who while strict still loved him, his religion and his best friend, Richie. He was healthy and couldn’t complain, so he never told anyone about how he felt. How things needed to be a certain way for his head not to hurt, how he’d cry because his bones felt wrong in his body, how he felt wrong in his own body.  
In the script, Stan was supposed to be happy, to laugh at Richie’s dumb jokes and make sarcastic, dead pan comments but to overall, be fine. So, he never spoke about it, he was sure that Richie would listen intently and do all he could to help if he had. He knew Richie cared more than he ever let on in public, but there was the constant doubt and paranoia itching and whispering at Stanley’s brain that if he told, if he ever told, he’d just be a burden, that Richie wouldn’t want anything to do with him afterwards since he felt like too much effort.  
And that’s why Stanley Uris was completely terrified to turn 17 in four days.


	2. 3 days left

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is super scary ngl  
> and also i have no clue how tf to write conversations ive literally always hated writing conversations and yea so sorry about that haha  
> also just a warning im british and dont know how american schools work so i apologise if all the following chapters with school in it are completely wrong whoops

Stanley sat on the, likely filthy, carpet of Richie’s cluttered bedroom floor, surrounded by clothes and and old work books, he left his eyes closed and head tilted up trying to pick up the last of the sun before it set and the weekend was officially over. They sat in a comfortable silence while Richie tried his best to sit still and read through his English textbook for the twelfth time that day. The reason they sat together all Sunday was to complete the essay set for the following morning, though Stanley was completely capable of completing his at home, he knew Richie would find it difficult to stay focused if he was alone, so Stan asked i they could write their essays together, and despite having finished his three hours prior and had no work left to do, he was content with sitting in the sun and waiting for Richie.  
Ten more minutes passed before Richie threw his textbook to the floor and said with pride he was finished even though he’d probably only written half the amount asked for. Sitting down on the beanbag opposite Stan he started talking, though Stan was too zoned out and forgot to listen.  
“HeY, Staaaan? Stan the man? You ok?” Richie asked confused why his friend wasn’t responding to his joke about their incapable English Lit teacher Mr Jones.  
Quickly Stan snapped out of his empty daydream and began apologising “sorry Rich, I didn’t mean to ignore you, was just in my own world a bit”  
“You nervous about Wednesday?” the silence that followed was enough of an answer for Richie to continue talking. “You know you might not get your Mark yet, just because your turning seventeen doesn’t mean your soulmate is too. I mean look at me, my birthday was last month and I still haven’t gotten mine yet.” The sincerity in his voice actually calmed Stan down despite his heart almost falling out of his chest whenever he thought about the subject.  
“Yeah, your right, I mean I might not get the Mark for ages yet. I shouldn’t be worried, at least not yet.”  
“See, exactly Stanny, there’s no need to worry” Richie said enthusiastically, glad he was able to help his uptight friend see at least a bit of reason.  
“Richie?” Stan asked after a few moments of silence between the two. After hearing Richie mumble, he continued his question “What do you think – well, I mean, what would you do if – “  
“Come on, spit it out Stan, you know you can ask me anything. I’m an open book” Richie interrupted with a slight chuckle  
With Stan calmer he finally spat it out “What would you do if your soulmates a boy?” he said while looking straight down into his hands and attempting to avoid any eye contact.  
After a moment Richie said “well, I guess I wouldn’t mind, as long as they’re my soulmate, who cares you know?" he answered, quieter than what Stan was used to. "What about you then?”  
“I guess, I’d be ok with it” he replied incredibly slowly and carefully, afraid of how Richie would react to his sort of coming out “its just that, my dad – I don’t know its all so stressful, I know that they want me to have a nice Jewish girl to be my soulmate, otherwise they’d probably just set me up with that girl from school, Patty. And I mean, she’s nice and all but I’m not –“ he slowly trails off, hoping his best friend of ten years would understand. He'd been sure of his own sexuality for almost a year now after a short lived crush on a much more popular classmate, Mike Hanlon. He'd been nicer to Stan than he previously expected considering Mike was on the football team and in the popular circle at school. His feelings quickly died down though, as after some struggle, Stan finally understood his feelings and knew that Mike was only a small crush. He never told anyone about how he felt. Who could blame him, it was Derry, he was already a target for his religion and you never knew how someone could react and with it being a small town, news travelled fast. Despite all this, and all the thoughts of concern in his head warning him not to, to protect himself, Stan decided that he could trust Richie and that he would understand, he was sure that if anyone in Derry would respect him. it'd be his long time best friend.  
After a deep breath Richie stood up, gave Stan a completely bone-crushing hug and said in his ear “Don’t worry, I understand. I guess I should say that I think I’m bisexual.” He moved away and they each smiled at the other, glad with the way they understood each other so easily. “Anyways, you wanna go get some food at the diner?”  
“Oh my gosh, yes please I am completely starving, lets go” Stan smiled, happy with how easy it was to be around Richie, even after revealing himself that vulnerable, he took Richie’s hand to help him off the ground and they headed out towards the diner across town. He was so glad to have a friend like Richie in his life, though of course he’d never say that to his face, his ego would never stop growing if he did, so he settled with the hug and left it at that.

A few hours later he was back home, tired and ready for bed when his phone buzzed from his bedside table.  
[Trash-o] – heyhey just wanted to say thanks for coming round to help me concentrate on that essay today man  
[StannyBoi] – Don’t worry about it Richie, I had fun today anyway. I’ll see you by the bike racks tomorrow as usual. Goodnight.  
[Trash-o] – gnight old man  
[Trash-o] - still cant believe you go to bed so early like what the fuck man are you even a teenager if you dont scroll through your phone till 2am ?????  
Stan cringed at his punctuation and grammar, or lack thereof, and smiled at his friend. His best friend, who said terrible jokes at the worst times with the most confidence but would always say thank you when all you did was the smallest favour like keeping Richie on track with completing an essay on the topic he hated most. With that in his mind, he drifted off to sleep, content and to what he’d hope would be a calm night of dreaming.  
He was unfortunately wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just wanna say that i type too fast cos my rain moves super quickly so im sory if theres mistakes, i am really bad at checking for mistakes cos i read just as fast and pass over them completely oof  
> anyways again i rlly hope you liked this please tell me and let me know if it sucks but in a nice way please


	3. 2 days left

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so, yes i literally wrote and am putting up the first three chapters in the same day, i cant help it, i need to make use of this impulsive mood cos ive been so close to stating writing or posting before and then didnt oof  
> anyways yea, i really hope this doesnt suck

Stanley was in bed when it happened, when his throat closed up and his chest filled with weights. His whole body began weighing him down as he struggled to breathe, he tried calling for his mother but his voice wouldn’t come out, only gasps and failed breaths.  
And that was when he heard it, the screams. His mother begging Stanley to come downstairs, that his father was hurt, he’d been attacked. She screamed for her son and told him to call an ambulance, she shouted nonstop, begging Stan to call for help, that his dad would die if he didn’t hurry. The voice of his mother echoed through whole house and into his head, her begs overlapping until he couldn’t understand what she said anymore.  
Quickly his mothers worried shouts morphed, changed into a monster, a crackling deep voice calling for Stanley, and growing louder.  
He could feel the vibrations of its footsteps coming closer and closer, climbing the stairs to his room. He got out of bed as best he could but he felt so weak, his limbs grew heavier with each step as he gasped for air and begged for a breath. After what felt like forever he finally reached his bedroom door, Stan opened it slowly trying to make no noise and saw steps leading directly down from his bedroom door, it was pitch black and he could only see the first few steps but the pounding of the creatures footsteps continued, the growl of what used to be his mother carried on shouting. So, he shut the door carefully and tried to take a step away but the weights in his body had grown too much, too heavy and he was dragged to the floor. He tried crawling towards the window for an escape but his body was too heavy and he’d barely move across his bedroom floor. He felt himself sinking into the ground while hands held his neck, ensuring his inability to breathe. He sunk lower and lower until all that was left was his head, too heavy and too weak to do anything but watch, Stanley watched his door with wide eyes when the steps and shouting finally stopped. For a few seconds there was a deafening silence before his bedroom door slowly creaked open revealing the pitch black staircase he’d seen before. Stan felt helpless as he cried, still sinking into the floor, his body to heavy to gain control, and eyes impossibly wide on the door as it suddenly slammed shut and left the entire room in darkness.

Stanley shook awake with wet cheeks and shaking hands, it took a moment before he realised his breathing was no longer restricted, though he could still feel the memory of hands closing around his throat and it took even longer before his breathing returned to normal. His body was still heavy and numb as he slowly regained his ability to move, after what felt like hours, though was likely minutes, Stan sat up and checked his phone for the time.  
6:23 am  
He squinted to read his bright phone screen and saw that it was only seven minutes until his alarm would wake him, so he dragged his still heavy body out of bed and headed towards the bathroom. He figured a shower would help him feel back to normal.  
Half an hour later and Stan was almost ready for the day, his hair was washed and drying into the tight blond curls he was so used to seeing, his teeth were meticulously brushed and flossed, his bag was packed and ordered in the correct way and he was dressed in his most comfortable hoodie and pants. He figured he didn’t need to look extremely presentable at school everyday, after all, Richie had showed up in pyjamas on multiple occasions. Once dressed with damp hair, he quickly headed towards his window and with maximum effort pulled up the heavy window to reveal the birds settled in the tree nearest to his bedroom. With the sun finally rising over the street, Stan closed his eyes and listened to the birds singing as he always did after nightmares as bad as the one he just had. He shivered as his chest began feeling heavier just at the memory of the nightmare.  
Checking his phone as he headed downstairs for breakfast, he saw that Richie had sent him posts, memes and tiktoks finally stopping at 1:47am, Stan quickly endured the array of insanely weird jokes, memes and posts Richie sent and replied for every single one. No way was he going to let Richie think he hadn’t watched them or that he was annoying him, he’d always loved being the person Richie would text at all hours of the night. It made him feel needed, made him feel wanted and it made him feel like someone actually liked speaking to him. So, after leaving some criticising comments on some and laughing responses on others he set down him phone and headed into the kitchen.  
When he came in, he found his mother leaning against the counter reading a book with a mug nestled in her free hand, “Good morning Stanley, how did you sleep?” asked his mother in her usual sweet tone and smile.  
“Good morning,” he replied giving her a swift kiss on the cheek before heading towards the mug of coffee she had prepared him “do you and dad have anything planned for today?” Stan asks before sipping his coffee and while avoiding her question. He always found that he couldn’t lie to his mother so he found ways around questions, either by avoiding them or omitting certain truths.  
“Nothing different from usual.” She said with a smile on her face leaving Stan relieved she hadn’t noticed him avoiding the question. “Have a great day Stanley, love you.” She said picking up her book and mug, ready to leave for the front room. After quickly finishing his coffee and taking the sandwich left prepared on the counter top, he left the house and shouted goodbye to his mother, since his father would have left the house an hour earlier. Once he’d shut the door and checked he had his phone, keys and that his laces were tied three times each, Stanley took his bike and began his normal and familiar route to school.  
Seeing as Derry is a very small town, he didn’t have much time to his own thoughts before being in the usual school crowd. After locking his bike to the rack, he surprisingly only had to wait 6 minutes before Richie came cycling over. “Holy shit, I don’t think you’ve ever been this early to school Richie. You do know that the bell hasn’t rung yet, right?” Stan laughed at Richie’s rougher and more rushed than usual appearance, as well as the fact that he had expected Richie to arrive at least 15 minutes later.  
“Oh Stanny boy, you won’t believe what happened to me when I woke up this morning.” He said in reply both completely out of breath and barely even registering the teasing from Stan. Once Richie finished putting the chain on his bike and caught his breath, he finally looked over to Stan, who had his arms crossed and eyebrow raised waiting not so patiently for Richie to continue. “Oh right, yeah, so this morning right. As usual I woke up ten minutes ago and went to go brush my teeth and – “ he paused to show his left forearm with a blinking ‘…’ the Mark that every seventeen year old waits for “ta da” he shouts making Stanley flinch just slightly.  
“Holy shit”  
“I know right, I can’t believe it” Richie said with the biggest smile plastered on his face.  
“No, I mean I can’t believe you actually brush your teeth. I just assumed you didn’t.” Stan said with the tiniest hint of amusement in his eye.  
Richie pulls his head back and laughs for a moment before saying “Wow got off a good one there Stanley” and with a light hearted laugh, they walk through the school hallways making their way to English Lit.  
“Ok now seriously, I’m so happy for you Rich. What are you going to do now? Have they written anything yet?” Stan said when they had reached their class and sat down in their usual seats near the windows. Richie only smirked in reply, and without looking over he showed Stanley his right arm to see the messy words ‘I’m not a photographer but I can picture me and you together’ with a winking face underneath. When Stan had finished reading over the message, he rolled his eyes and said “to be honest I was expecting something much more crude and sexual” in his usual toneless attitude.  
The comment made Richie laugh and shake his head. “No way Staniel, I gotta get them used to me before I break out the big guns and quality content” he said while making guns with his fingers and shooting noises until the teacher arrived and began their first boring 1-hour lesson of seven. Though Stanley could barely keep his attention on the lesson despite his usual interest. He just couldn’t stop thinking about his Mark, even though it may not come on his birthday like Richie said, it would come eventually. He was incredibly happy for his friend, he knew how much Richie had been waiting for this, but Stanley wasn’t Richie. He wasn’t like anyone he knew, as Stanley thought to himself, as he had many times before, how much easier it’d be without a soulmate, and he begged in his mind to anyone listening to be the exception to the worldwide rule of soulmate Marks.

Four hours of Stanley being stuck in his own mind circling the same topic all day and attempting to listen to teachers through Richie’s constant roll of jokes and comments later, lunch had arrived. It was a welcome break to Stanley, he was already exhausted from the slow day and couldn’t deal with much more without a well needed break. After sitting down at their usual table in the back of the dining hall, Stanley took out his neatly wrapped food and placed them down in his usual order and made sure they were neatly arranged in the way they should be before placing his bag back down on the floor and waiting for Richie. Stan was confused why he wasn’t already there since Richie had his last lesson on the first floor while Stan had his on the second, he should’ve been here by now. He tried his best to control the paranoia and unwanted thoughts that, maybe, Richie had been attacked or was dying and was calling for him. A few stress induced minutes later and Richie came to the table already eating and attempting to tell Stan a story, all before sitting down.  
“That’s disgusting Richie, just finish your food and tell me whatever it is then.” Stan said crinkling his nose at the sight of Richie’s half chewed cafeteria pizza.  
Richie rolled his eyes but complied and eventually continued speaking “I was trying to tell you that I was late because I was sitting outside with some people I met in Chemistry last lesson, they’re all on the picnic benches in the courtyard. Come join?” He finished in a high tone with his eyebrows raised already anticipating Stan’s predictable reply.  
“No, no way.” He replied with his eyes on his hands, which were on his lap, balled into fists.  
“Please, Stanley come on. I promise they’re all really nice, and there’s not many of them, only five. I met two of them in Chem and they were really fun, I know you’ll like them. Plus if you don’t and you want to leave, just say – “ he said begging Stanley before looking away in thought “ – oh, say that your thirsty and want me to come with you to buy a drink.” He finished, basically bouncing with pride at his idea of compromise.  
After a few moments, Stanley unclenched his fists to see small red crescent marks on his palm, he was at least glad that it wasn't deep enough to start bleeding. Looking back at Richie’s hopeful face he said “Fine, I’ll go, but you better keep your promise and leave with me if I hate them and they all suck.” He said grumpy that he’d have to leave the table so familiar to him. His mind itched at the last minute change to his script but dealt with it best he could while packing his food away, again through Richie’s cheers. Moments later they walked out through the nearby back hall doors to reach the courtyard.  
“They’re over here” Richie said lightly, pulling slightly on Stan’s arm. He turned and followed Richie to one of the many tables in the yard and saw them approaching a full table of five, they were all smiling and laughing about something one of the had said. When the only one of the group standing caught sight of Richie and Stan, Richie began shouting “missed me Eds?” to earn only an eye roll in return. Stanley thought back and realised he recognised him from Maths two years earlier, they had sat apart from each other but Eddie hadn’t changed much and was easy to recognise. “Guys, this is Staniel. Stan this is Eddie - ” he pointed to the shorter boy with slightly curled brown hair that Stanley had already known “ – this ones Ben – “ he gestured to the slightly larger boy with soft hair and a giant, kind smile “ – that’s Mike – “ he said pointing to Stan’s very first crush, who he hadn’t realised was sitting with the group “ – and they are William and Beverly, they were the ones in my Chem class.” He finished after pointing to the girl leaning on the table with short red hair and the other boy next to her, he had dark auburn hair and smiled when it got to his introduction, unlike the others that had thrown in a small ‘hi’ when it got to them. Stanley watched and Richie moved over to Eddie and Ben to immediately start telling one of his many jokes, leaving Stan behind to stand awkwardly.  
He hadn’t realised Bill was still looking at him when he slowly said “do you want to sit?” gesturing to the empty piece of bench opposite him. Stan politely smiled and sat down before looking back at his palms in this lap, he was by all definitions, terrified. He’d never met any of these people, at least not properly, he did have one year of Maths with Eddie and had bumped into Mike a few times, but that was it. He was in a new territory he’d never been in before, and that scared him, he wasn’t sure what script to expect. “Are you ok?” Bill spoke once again with the same slow tone, as if he was trying his hardest to speak, though it still contained the same amount of care that it ever could.  
“Yes, I’m fine just a bit nervous I guess, I’m quite shy around people other than Richie so” he said quietly in return, beginning to look up into the deep caring eyes across from him.  
“Woah, quiet? I didn’t think that was possible when friends with someone as loud as Richie.” Laughed Bill, amused at the unexpected shy friend of the loudest boy in school.  
“Hey, play nice Bill” interrupted Beverly with a light hit to Bills chest, after receiving an ‘ow’ from Bill, she continued “Richie told us quite a bit about you earlier, you seem really nice, I just hope these idiots don’t scare you away. I’m Bev by the way, always hated Beverly.” She smiled at Stan.  
“Oh, don’t worry, I’m used to trashmouth over there, at this point I don’t think anyone could scare me away.” Stan chuckled slightly, beginning to get more confident and more used to being around the new group. Bev laughed and looked over at Richie who’d somehow heard Stan’s joke and started acting like a terrible movie actresses’ idea of overly shocked and offended. When Stan turned back, he saw that Bill was smiling and quietly chuckling to himself over the whole ordeal. During this moment, Stan began noticing all the little things he sometimes did, it was as if every tiny thing he heard and saw was shoved into his head at once. Like how someone’s leg kept shifting under the table making slight noises against the ground, how Ben kept glancing towards Beverly while she laughed and how Bills hair looked almost red when the sun hit it just right and how his eyes crinkled slightly when he laughed. He noticed so many things and it was too distracting, his mind was too busy, too full. So he looked into his lap and started counting his fingers, he felt as though he had to count to ten at least five times before feeling safe enough to look up again. When he did, he found that everyone had moved on and was listening to Bev tell the story of how she figured out her soulmate was Ben after only a month of having the Mark. It made sense to Stan that they were together when he thought about it, Bev was almost always facing Ben, leaning into him, and Ben’s attention was always on Bev before anyone else. She told the story like it was the day after, as though no one on the table knew despite only Richie and Stan not having heard the news. She said that when she turned seventeen she got the Mark since she was younger, she told them how they had spoken whenever they could until one day Ben had written to her saying that he was moving to a small town. Though of course he couldn’t say where, the Mark would filter that out, however when a new kid started school the following week, Bev knew she had to speak to him. After a conversation about a band they both liked, for some reason the name of which she couldn’t say, her patience ended and she blurted out how she thought he was her soulmate and proceeded to steal his pen to draw a line up her entire right arm. After an identical line had appeared on Ben’s arm almost instantly they immediately began dating. After all they had been speaking over the Mark for a month already.  
Stan smiled wide at their now obvious feelings to each other while Richie started joking around making rude jokes and begging to know what band they’d talked about, since it was such a secret he was unsurprisingly dying to find out. Not long after, the bell rang to say that their next lesson had begun, and most of them went in separate directions. Except Ben and Bev stayed together, likely wanting to walk to class together, and Bill oddly stayed with Stan himself.  
“What way are you walking to?” he asked curiously, following closely to Stan’s pace.  
“I’m in Mrs Wyatt’s Physics class, on the second level. Are you going the same way?” Stan asked politely in return, he thought that despite barely knowing any of the group that they were quite nice and regardless of how he’d usually feel, he wasn’t against getting to know them.  
“Yeah, I’m in physics too I guess I’ll walk with you then.” Bill smiled back, content with the opportunity to make new friends.  
As they started walking through the crowded hallways, Bill asked Stan if he had any siblings, which he hadn’t. Stan politely asked the same in return and Bill’s face immediately lit up, he began telling Stan all about his younger brother Georgie. The whole time his face was covered in a smile and it was obvious to Stan just how much his little brother meant to Bill, it was sweet. Though after a minute of squeezing past people in the over crowded corridor it was clear how difficult holding a conversation would be, so they fell into a comfortable silence. Once they were clear of the main crowd and nearing closer to Stan’s classroom, Bill blurted out a completely unexpected question. “So, have you gotten your Mark yet?” He asked with wide eyes on Stan, making his heart begin to race and his palms go sweaty.  
He’d always hated talking about his upcoming Mark with anyone, even when he talked to Richie about it, he felt uncomfortable. So, he avoided the question as best as his panicked mind could think, “sorry, this is my class, bye Bill.” Stan rushed, stumbling over his words and speeding up to reach his nearby classroom. Once he’d sat down, Stan finally felt safe again, as he shoved any thoughts of his Mark in the back of his mind and once again attempted to listen to the teacher talk and failing miserably, just as he had been doing all day.

Soon enough, Stan’s last lesson was over and he was free to go back home and collapse onto his soft, comfy bed for a log needed nap, which was what he had every intention of doing. Or at least, that was until Richie jogged over to Stan while he freed his bike from the racks by the front gates.  
“Hey Stan, so Bev just invited us to go to the diner across town, she said that Ben and Bill are going too. You up for it?” He said half hopeful and half already knowing what Stan would say.  
“No, Richie I’m too tired, I just want to go home and sleep.” Stan said roughly in reply without looking up at Richie. “Sorry.” He said with a sigh, after a moment realising how harsh he’d spoken. Stan climbed onto his bike and held his face in his hands for a moment, before looking back up at Richie. “It’s just been a really long day and I am so tired Rich. Maybe next time?” He said with a small smile.  
This was enough for the cheesy smile he was so used to, to return to Richie’s face. “Ok, I get it, no worries then." he said before starting to walk away "I’ll just tell them you have chores or something, hope you feel better after a nap grandad.” He finished half shouting as he walked towards their new friends with his hand above his head waving bye. Stan started to ride away from the school as he thought about how happy he was that Richie understood when he needed some space and would never be mad at him for long, even when he was grumpy and short with him. He thought about how lucky he was to have Richie around, and how much he felt as though he didn’t deserve him. He felt like he deserved to be left behind, he thought that he would eventually anyway. When he got home from school, he had his usual short, polite conversation with his parents before heading straight to his room and falling onto the safety of his mattress. There he laid and cried for a short while, feeling undeserving of the love and care he got from the people around him, he felt pathetic and unworthy, and after what felt like hours to Stan, he finally fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoops this one is wayyy longer than the first two sorry haha but yea i kinda couldnt stop writing, it was pretty fun if im telling the truth and p therapeutic ngl hahaa  
> plus that dream at the beginning is almost the same as like two or three of mine that i used get a lot but mushed together lmfao so yea that was fun to write hahaa oof  
> again goes please tell me if you like this or tell me if it sucks (please say it nice hah) bye x


End file.
